|Small but deadly!|
The Annoy-a-tron emits a high pitched beep (I chose the one that lasts the longest but there are 3 types) at random intervals. It has a magnet and is so small it fits in the palm of your hand, so it's pretty easy to hide so your victim of choice can't tell where the squeal is coming from.
Naturally as soon as I got the things - I ordered two - I dropped one and broke it. Still, one will suffice and my first victim was my brother.
He dropped by Tuesday after he finished work and parked his butt on my Habs sofa to play L.A.Noire on the PS 3. I had hid the Annoy-a-tron behind the sofa, up high on the curtain rod directly over his head. I switched it on and waited.
The first time he heard it he did a casual "What was that?". Mom was on the computer and didn't hear it because she was focused on whatever it was she was up to (probably Slotomania). Since I had to drive her to work we left Bro to suffer alone.
"He'd better not find it and break it," I said to Mom in the hallway. "I only have the one left. Didn't you hear it?"
She claimed not to have heard anything, but by the time I drove her to work and returned to the apartment with coffee it was clear that Bro had heard every single beep.
He had left the sofa and was parked at the desk to play his game. I gave him the coffee, he thanked me, and then proceeded to wig out.
"There is something going on in this room," he insisted. "There's a beeping going on." He reluctantly left the desk and returned to the sofa just as the Annoy-a-tron did its thing. In the tiny room it was loud and I couldn't feign deafness. "SEE? What the fuck IS that thing?"
"Maybe it's the construction crew," I suggested. "They were up climbing around in the ceiling yesterday. Maybe they left some equipment on."
My brother is a former carpenter so that one didn't fly. "You'd have to be using the power tool, pressing the trigger."
The Annoy-a-tron decided that 5 minute intervals were too much and went off again.
"What the FUCK?" yelled Bro, and started tearing cushions off the couch while I dissolved in laughter.
"You're going to pull apart my sofa now?"
"There's something going on in this room!" he said. He put the cushions back and sat down again. This apparently offended the Annoy-a-tron, which was not content to let him rest and play his game after a hard day's work.
My brother knelt on the sofa and turned around to face the back and peer out the window. "It's the Man," he said. "The Man is out to get me or something."
I was outright guffawing by now. "You need to lay off the caffeine. You sound like a paranoid lunatic."
"Something is OUT TO GET ME!" he said.
That was when Mom called from work. "Did you tell him about the Annoy-a-tron yet?"
Mom: "When are you going to?"
Me: "I don't know."
The Annoy-a-tron went off again. Bro threw up his hands. "Ask her about the beeping."
Me: "He wants me to ask you about the beeping."
Mom: Laughter. Then a click as she hung up.
When the Annoy-a-tron went off again Bro turned around to do a more thorough search of the window frame. He also glanced down at the gap between the sofa and the wall where I had dropped and broken the first one. He even looked up at the curtain rod but failed to spot the device somehow.
When I got up to open the curtains (he had shut them to play his video game because of the angle of the sunlight on the TV), he immediately laid claim to the desk chair again and sent me to suffer on the Sofa of Danger.
"Are you going to find that beeping?" he wanted to know.
"No, I'm going to open the curtains so I can see." I recovered the Annoy-a-tron while opening the curtains, but by then Bro couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm going home," he said.
"Wait. I have something to show you," I told him. Frankly by then my stomach had hurt from laughing anyway, plus I knew he'd try to get Zee with the damned thing and thereby pass on the misery.
When I showed him the Annoy-a-tron he took it well and didn't beat me or anything. But oh... his poor wife and coworkers.
"You have to give it back when you're done," I told him. "I still have plans for this thing."
I bet he does too.